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One of the challenges every parent faces is how to talk to teachers and school administrators about a concern and come away with a positive resolution. By following a few basic communication rules, you can play a positive role in your child’s education experience.
Establish a good relationship early in the school year. Getting to know your child’s teacher, other school staff, and administrators early on makes difficult conversations easier later. Today’s wide range of communication methods makes it easier than ever to keep open lines of communication between you and your child’s school.
Be proactive. Voicing a concern means you care. Consider speaking up to be touching base or checking in versus complaining or questioning the school. Make contact early before a situation escalates.
Follow the chain of command. You automatically create a barrier between yourself and a teacher by going to the principal before you talk with the teacher. The same goes for calling the central office before you speak with school staff or administrators. Those “next levels” are available if the situation cannot be resolved at the source.
Abide by The Golden Rule. One of the five rules of my classroom was “Give others the respect you expect.” The same rule applies to us all. If you expect a teacher to keep you informed, communicate with the teacher regularly about matters large and small that affect your child. If you believe teachers should refrain from telling you how to parent, then resist the temptation to tell them how to teach.
Calm down. Wait until you are calm and rational before firing off an e-mail, calling the school, or going in person to confront staff. What is the real goal—to vent or to help solve a problem? Sometimes it helps to talk it over with another parent who can give you an honest, objective point of view before you make contact with the school.
Little things make a big difference. Body language, tone of voice, and choice of words are crucial pieces of the communication puzzle. Again, follow The Golden Rule in communicating in a manner you would want others to communicate with you. Voice your concern calmly and reasonably.
Stay focused. It can be tempting to bring everything that has troubled you all year long into a conversation or parent conference. But you’ll get better results if you concentrate on the issue at hand and finding a shared resolution.
Consider the big picture. There are at least two sides to every story. Ask questions before jumping to conclusions. In addition to voicing your concerns, take time to listen carefully.
Be part of the solution. Ask the simple question, “What can I do to help?” You will be amazed at how quickly a difficult conversation becomes a productive interaction. There is a difference between siding with your child and being an advocate for your child. Your role is to advocate for your child.
Believe it or not, your input is wanted. Ask any educator; one of the greatest challenges they face is lack of parental involvement. A good relationship with your child’s teacher is like any other relationship; it takes some work. However, it is well worth the investment of time and effort. Make it a priority to form a partnership with the school in paving the way for your child to have the best possible experience at school.
Beth McCullough enjoyed 11 years as a teacher and is currently the public information officer for Chatham County Schools in North Carolina.
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